What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
