Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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