Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize