So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
