Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
