For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dicks are not precious.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
