Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize