Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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