I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
