Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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