GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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