Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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