I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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