Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
