I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
do herpes really smell.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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