we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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