Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
