Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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