i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish life had little blips of pornography
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
