I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
