Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
