she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
