So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize