awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
