Dude my mom stole all your condoms
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
