Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
