Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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