I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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