We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
