plz talk dirty to me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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