when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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