Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
