Do vagina's smell?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize