I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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