just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
