sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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