I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
