I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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