I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You are a genius and a whore.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
