Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize