when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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