I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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