So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
its liver damage thursday
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