woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
