Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize