I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
