Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
