at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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