Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
