i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
