we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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