I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
