Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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