Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
