Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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