I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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