their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
