I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
