Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
