If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
