this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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