if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
