no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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