I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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