She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
