she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
not ubering you a puppy
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
