My friends, they love my intelligence
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
