i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize